To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
