Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
