Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
