But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Everything about him screamed your future.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
