What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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