also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
