Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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