I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
