So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
