Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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