It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
