I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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