I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
