This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
