this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
