he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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