I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
