i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
