What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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