i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
