I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
