The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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