i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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