Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
