I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
