You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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