she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
