There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she peed on how many people?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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