please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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