so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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