I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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