tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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