Where are you?
In a non slutty way
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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