you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
