we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
