I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
is wine microwaveable?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
