I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
