i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
