I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
