i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
