Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You can't special order awesome
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
