lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
