Pants 0. Shit 1.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
