I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
