They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
