There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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