Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
