I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
