i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
