My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
