hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
